Using Sex Toys: Why Should You Use A Sex Toy?

Sex toys are extremely popular nowadays and you’ve certainly heard about them. You’ve probably even seen them in certain TV shows, like Sex and the City.

If you’re wondering whether a sex toy is the right choice for you and your partner, keep reading! In this guide, I’ll explore all the reasons why you should definitely try adult toys and how to use them to improve your sex life and your relationship. 

Do Vibrators Improve Your Sex Life?

Of course. The worst enemy of good sex is boredom.  Sex toys are meant to break your usual bedroom routine and enjoy something new with your partner. Plus, exploring new sensations together goes a long way to strengthen the bond between two romantic partners. 

Lastly, the right sex toy can help you with common problems in the bedroom. For example, did you know that vibrating penis rings can help a man last longer in bed and achieve stronger erections? Let’s explain this from the beginning.

An erection basically happens because, when a man is aroused, the penis gets flooded with blood. The extra blood “inflates” the penis and makes it stiff. When your man loses the erection, the blood flows away from his groin and the penis looks “deflated”.

A penis ring worn at the base of the penis slightly restricts the blood flow ⁠— in a good way, of course! So the extra blood will leave the penis more slowly, making the erection last longer and preventing erection loss. 

For women, using a vibrator can make it much easier to reach an orgasm. The reason is very simple. Sex toys have designs that are specifically created to hit a woman’s pleasure points.

Have you ever noticed that many vibrators have a curved shaft? It’s not by chance but by design! This curved shape puts the tip of the vibrator in direct contact with your G-spot, which is located in the anterior vaginal wall.

Finding the G-spot using a specific sex position or fingers is much more difficult than just inserting a toy that does all the hard work for you.

Lastly, let’s not forget that many women can’t achieve an orgasm without intense clitoral stimulation. Again, sex positions or fingers (or tongues!) may not be enough for you to climax. And that’s perfectly normal!

In this situation, a powerful clitoral stimulator takes the pressure off your partner, who might be constantly wondering how to move his tongue or fingers the right way. 

Vibrators ARE effective for clitoral stimulation and will make you experience sensations you had never experienced before. 

Why Is It Important to Use Sex Toys? Mental Health Benefits of Introducing Them in the Bedroom

Using Sex Toys In The Bedroom

Still not convinced? Here are a few reasons why sex toys are actually good for your mental health: 

  • They help you sleep better. It’s no wonder that sex toys help you achieve better orgasms. And a mind-blowing orgasm releases oxytocin and endorphins in your body. These “feel-good” chemicals help you sleep better.
  • They may reduce stress. The “feel-good” chemicals we mentioned before also help reduce stress and anxiety.
  • They help couples be more satisfied with their relationship. Introducing a vibrator in the bedroom doesn’t mean that your partner doesn’t satisfy you. It means that you’re both invested in making your relationship better. Exploring new things together ⁠— inside and outside the bedroom ⁠— improves communication between partners and helps overcome boredom. 

Is It Okay to Use Sex Toys?

Anything that helps improve your mental health and your relationship with your partner is okay. Period. Don’t let shame, guilt, and embarrassment stop you from exploring the world of sex toys!

Are Sex Toys Safe?

Yes, provided that you choose body-safe materials and wash the toy well before and after each use. There are specific toy cleaners that make it super easy to disinfect your sexy accessories without ruining them.

When it comes to sex toy materials, your safest bets are silicone, borosilicate glass, and stainless steel. These materials are not only free from phthalates and other toxic substances, but they’re also non-porous. Non-porous materials can’t harbor germs, so they’re safer and easier to clean. 

Most TPE/TPR/Cyberskin toys from reputable manufacturers are phthalate-free, but they’re still porous. If you’re 100% sure that your toy is phthalate-free, you can use it with a condom to ensure hygiene. 

Would You Suggest Using Adult Toys With Your Partner? How Can You Make It a Pleasurable Experience?

Yes, I’d recommend using toys with your partner without a doubt! Making it a pleasurable experience for both partners only takes a few steps. Let’s explain all the steps in detail:

Step 1: Communication

Trying a sex toy together for the first time is not as simple as buying it, putting it into a beautiful gift wrap, and having your partner find it in the bedroom. 

To make it a pleasurable experience for both partners, you have to talk a lot about it. You have to make sure both partners are on the same page before the sex toy enters the bedroom.

If you fantasize about a specific toy, send your loved one photos of it or a video where a cam model uses it. The Internet may make it much easier to break the ice!

If you just want to try a toy, but you’re not sure which one yet, suggest that you and your partner browse online sex shops together. Sharing your sexual fantasies in such an honest way will strengthen your bond!

Step 2: Choose the Right Model for Your Body

Before choosing your first sex toy, ask yourself a few questions. Do you like vaginal penetration or would prefer to focus on clitoral stimulation?

If you prefer vaginal penetration, do you like it super deep or not? If you’re going to buy an internal toy, it helps to know which penis size you typically like. This will help to find a toy of the right size for you.

Are you planning to use the vibrator with your partner or not? If you do, there are C-shaped models you can wear inside your vagina while he penetrates you with his penis. These toys stimulate both partners effectively, so you might want to consider them.

Step 3: Take Baby Steps

It’s important not to rush things for the pleasure of everyone involved. Once you physically have your sex toy in the bedroom, I’d recommend that you start using it slowly, by taking baby steps.

Set the vibrations on the lowest setting available, then start stroking the toy on the neck, shoulders, arms, and belly. Or have your partner do it for you! This way, your body gets accustomed to the new type of stimulation.

You’ll also start building arousal, which is important to enjoy your new toy and get an orgasm (or two!). Don’t attempt penetration until you feel aroused. 

Step 4: Use Plenty of Lube

This is even more important if it’s your first time using sex toys. Vibrators and dildos do not produce natural lubrication as a real penis does. This may cause discomfort when the toy penetrates the vagina.

Luckily, there is an effective solution readily available: lube! Make sure that you order a bottle together with your first sex toy, or find out more about the best lube for sex toys.

For your first time, I’d recommend water-based lube since it’s compatible with all sex toys. Other lube types are not compatible with certain sex toy materials and can ruin your costly vibrator, so I wouldn’t recommend them to beginners. 

Step 5: Plan Some Time for Aftercare

Aftercare is not just for people who engage in BDSM or extreme sex acts. Trying a sex toy for the first time is an intense experience, so you and your partner definitely deserve aftercare!

There are no pre-set rules for aftercare — just do whatever feels right. Cuddles, pillow talk, watching a movie, and eating a snack are great options.

It’s also important that you and your partner discuss the experience. What did you like and dislike about your new sex toy? Don’t be afraid to tell them honestly. 

7 Reasons to Use Sex Toys ⁠— Alone or With a Partner

Reasons to use sex toys alone or with a partner

Are you still unsure whether trying a new toy with your loved one is the right thing to do? Here are 7 reasons why you should run — not walk — to a sex shop and buy your first vibrator!

1. Toys Take The Pressure Off You (or Your Partner!)

Situations where one of the partners can’t give the other an orgasm may create a lot of pressure. It’s no one’s fault and there are many causes for being unable to achieve an orgasm: stress, hormonal imbalances, distractions…

Still, the partner who can’t give an orgasm to the other may feel inadequate. The right vibrator helps reach an orgasm much more easily than if you were just using your hands or penis. Therefore, it solves this common problem instantly!

2. Trying New Things Boosts Your Intimacy

Have you ever wondered what kills a couple’s intimacy? Boredom and miscommunication. A new sex toy, obviously, keeps boredom away from the bedroom.

But choosing a vibrator together and browsing online sex shops encourages the couple to share their sexual fantasies with each other, which helps improve communication. 

3. Toys Make It Easier to Reach an Orgasm ⁠— or Multiple Orgasms!

As previously said, sex toys have shapes specifically designed to reach your body’s hottest pleasure spots. This is the reason why getting an orgasm from a sex toy is much easier than getting one from a real-life partner.

A powerful G-spot vibrator or clitoral stimulator may also help you experience multiple orgasms for the first time. After climax, don’t switch your vibrator off. Keep stimulating your private parts with the lowest vibrating settings and just see what happens, without pressure. 

4. Many Women Can’t Orgasm Without Clitoral Stimulation

If you experience trouble getting an orgasm from vaginal penetration, don’t worry, you’re not alone! Most women need some sort of clitoral stimulation in order to climax. 

If you need help getting your clit more love during partnered sex, there are multiple options available. You can choose a small bullet vibrator and keep it between your bodies during intercourse. Or, you can buy a couples’ vibrator.

Couples’ vibrators have a C-shaped design. You can keep them inside your vagina while he penetrates you. Oh, and vibrating penis rings are a great choice as well. Just fit one around his penis. The toy will stimulate your clit with every thrust. 

5. They Let You Find Your G-spot Easily

Toys with a curved shaft find your G-spot effortlessly, delivering mind-blowing orgasms. Save yourself the trouble of trying acrobatic sex positions for the G-spot or difficult fingering techniques. 

Once you’ve pinpointed your G-spot with the help of a vibrator, it will be much easier to find it on your own using your fingers ⁠— or your partner’s fingers!

6. They Help You Prepare For Anal Sex

Butt plugs are a very effective aid for anal sex, especially for beginners. Their peculiar shape allows them to stay in place inside the anus without going too deep inside or getting stuck.

Anal sex is all about stretching the muscles in the area. If you experience pain and discomfort, the most likely reason is that your muscles aren’t stretched enough. 

Keep your butt plug inserted for 20-30 minutes before sex, maybe while you enjoy foreplay. During this time, the toy will stretch and relax your anal muscles, preparing them to enjoy penetration with a penis or a bigger dildo. 

Make sure to add plenty of lube!

7. They Let You Explore Fantasies That Aren’t Feasible in Real Life

A dildo or pocket pussy lets you explore your threesome fantasies even if your partner is too jealous to introduce a third person in the bedroom. 

Do you fancy double penetration, but having sex with two men is a big no-no? Double dildos may be the right answer for you. Or you can use an anal dildo while you let your partner enter your vagina. 

Do you dream of a tireless partner who can penetrate you for entire hours? A realistic dildo is the perfect tool to make this fantasy come true. 

What are you waiting for? Tonight, when your man comes back home, ask him to help you choose a new sex toy. It will be a mind-blowing experience for both of you! 

Kimberly Wade
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