Sex toys in a relationship – Where to start?

Are you curious about sex toys? Would you like to buy one and use it with your partner, but don’t know where to start? If the answer is yes, this guide is for you!

Sex toys are great for heterosexual, lesbian, and gay couples. They can help making mutual masturbation and intercourse way more exciting. In this article, I’ll teach you how to start talking about them to your partner and how to choose your first one!

Does the Use of Sex Toys Improve Relationships?

Of course it does! You know, the worst enemy of good sex — and of a good relationship — is boredom. Trying something new is the solution for better sex and overall a better love life. Sex toys can also be great when you are wanting to have sex while menstruating

In this article, we’ll explore the sex toy types that are more suitable for couples, as well as tips to introduce them in the bedroom for the first time. 

What Types of Sex Toys Do Couples Enjoy?

Sex toys are a great way to spice up your sex life. They can be used for solo play or with a partner, and they come in all shapes and sizes. There are many different types of sex toys out there, but what do couples enjoy using the most? Here’s a look at some of the most popular types of sex toys among couples:

Penis Rings

The penis ring is made from silicone or rubber, which makes it very flexible and easy to use. There are many different types of rings available on the market today, but the most popular has a small vibrator on the top, to stimulate a woman’s clitoris. The penis ring is worn at the base of the penis. Since it creates a light pressure, it helps the man last longer in bed. 

Couples’ Vibrators

Couples’ vibrators have a C-shaped design. The woman wears the vibrator inside her vagina while he penetrates her. Yes, he can insert the penis while the vibrator is inside her pussy. This way, the vibrations stimulate both partners and he’ll feel more “tightness” as the sex toy takes up a little space inside the vagina. Thanks to the peculiar C-shaped design, these toys stimulate the G-spot and the clitoris at the same time. 

Remote-controlled Vibrating Eggs

Vibrating eggs have a shape that resembles an egg. The woman wears the egg inside her vagina. A small string, similar to the string of a tampon, stays outside the body, so you can easily remove the egg after playing. But the funniest thing is that the egg is controlled by a wireless remote. Give the remote to your partner who will be able to make you gasp and moan as he likes! Some models can be controlled from any distance over the Internet, so they’re perfect for long-distance couples!

Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa balls are a couple of small balls designed to be worn inside the vagina. Most of them feature a string for easy removal and an internal metal ball, which stimulates the vaginal walls with every movement. Today, there are many types of Ben Wa balls. Some even have a vibrating motor for additional stimulation. These tiny balls became famous thanks to “Fifty Shades of Grey”. Try wearing them inside the vagina before spanking, it will be an amazing sensation!

Magic Wand Massagers

Magic Wand massagers have a microphone-like shape that distributes the vibrations evenly on your pleasure spots. They’re commonly used as clitoral stimulators thanks to their powerful vibrations, but they’re suitable for the whole body. Try them on the scrotum, nipples, neck, back, and shoulders, you’ll love them! Magic Wand massagers can have a rechargeable battery or disposable batteries. Some models — typically, the most powerful ones — need to be connected to an electricity outlet. 

Penis Cloning Kits

Penis cloning kits are fun! They allow you to create a copy of your man’s penis using alginate and silicone. Based on the kit of your choice, you can create a copy in different colors, or even a vibrating one! You can then use the finished product as if it was a regular dildo. There are also pussy cloning kits around if that’s your thing, but you can’t use the pussy clone as a masturbator. 

Vibrating Panties

Vibrating panties are just regular panties with a small pocket. Inside the pocket, you can put a bullet vibrator for clitoral stimulation. Typically, the packaging already includes the bullet vibe. Vibrating panties can have many different features. For example, they can have a remote control your partner can play around with. Or different vibration patterns. There are also wearable vibrators you can connect to your panties using a magnet. 

Strap-on Dildos

Strap-on dildos are attached to a harness and are worn by one of the two partners, typically a woman, to penetrate the other partner. You can penetrate a female or male partner, anally or vaginally. There are many types of strap-on dildos available. Many of them have a vibrating motor for more intense stimulation. If you’re a penis owner and would like to wear a strap-on dildo to help with erection problems or just for fun, there are hollow models available that are suitable for you. 

Bullet Vibrators

Bullet vibrators are small sex toys intended for external stimulation. You can use them on the clitoris, nipples, scrotum, and many other sensitive spots of the male and female body. They have a bullet-like shape, which is perfect for pinpointed stimulation. Bullet vibes may have different vibration settings. They come in a variety of materials, from ABS plastic to soft silicone. 

Couples’ Vibrators

These sex toys are worn by the female partner during intercourse. They have a peculiar C-shaped design that delivers clitoral and G-spot pleasure at the same time. The best thing is that he’ll feel the vibrations as well! Some couples’ vibrators have a remote control, while others can be controlled over the Internet using your smartphone. Some models have two separate motors: one for the G-spot and one for the clitoris. 

Penis Sleeves

Penis sleeves are worn in the same way as a condom on the penis. Please note that they have no contraceptive effect and they won’t protect you against STIs, so play with them responsibly! Penis sleeves are think enough to make the penis feel a little bigger inside the vagina. Plus, many models have a stimulating texture on the exterior, to massage effectively the vaginal walls. Penis sleeves are not the same thing as masturbation sleeves, which are used by a man to play solo. 

How to Introduce a Sex Toy in the Bedroom for the First Time

Introducing a sex toy in your relationship for the first time doesn’t have to be intimidating. Follow our advice and it will be easier than you expected!

  • Communication is key! Before giving your partner a sex toy as a gift to use together, make sure that you talk about it with them. Bring up the topic in a casual way. You can say that you saw something on the Internet and would like to discuss it with them. 
  • Choose the sex toy together. If it’s a thing you’re going to use together, it’s best to choose it together! Plus, visiting online sex shops together can be very arousing. It’s also a great way to learn to communicate better and share your sexual fantasies with each other. 
  • Choose a model that’s easy to use and not too intimidating. Leave that huge dildo to more experienced players. For your first time, your best bet is a small sex toy. Ideally, you should choose a flexible and bendable vibrator that won’t cause any discomfort. 
  • Start using it one step at a time. Do not rush things. You’ve received your first vibrator in the mail — congratulations! Now, don’t be too enthusiastic or you’ll ruin the magic! Start using your sex toy during foreplay to caress your partner’s neck, back, shoulders… then, go down across their belly, towards their most intimate parts. This will give your partner time to get used to the vibrations and to warm up before penetration. You can also read our guide about how to masturbate with a vibrator.
  • After playing, talk to your partner about what you liked and disliked about your new toy. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your experience. Talking about what you like and dislike in bed helps strengthen your bond with your loved one. 

5 Things You Want to Consider When Buying Your First Toy as a Couple

  • The noise. A loud vibrator can be a privacy concern and a turn-off at the same time. It may discourage your partner from exploring the world of sex toys. 
  • The quality of the materials. You want to be extremely careful about the safety of the things you put inside your private parts. Typically, silicone sex toys are your best bet for body safe sex toys
  • The shape. Choose a sex toy with a classic design and a simple shape. For your first time, you want something that’s not too complicated. 
  • The size. Be careful and avoid purchasing a vibrator that’s actually too big for you or your partner. Read carefully all information available about the size of the toy you like before purchasing. 
  • The strength of the vibrations. It’s best to choose toys with multiple vibration settings available. This way, you can choose the right speed and power for you. Some people like stronger vibrations, while others like very light stimulation, just like a delicate caress. 

How to Introduce a Sex Toy in a Long-distance Relationship

Are you living far away from your loved one and would like to keep your sex life alive? Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to use sex toys in a long distance relationship! – There is so much fun you can have with remote controlled sex toys to enjoy long distance sex.

  • Try to talk about sex toys in-person. It’s an important conversation and you want the other person’s full attention. So, try to bring up the topic when you’re together and can talk face-to-face. 
  • Choose the right type of sex toy. Make sure that you buy a sex toy that has long-distance control capabilities over the Internet. Some examples of brands that produce high-quality Internet-controlled toys are Lovense, We-Vibe, and Satisfyer. 
  • Both partners can have their own sex toy. You can buy a sex toy for him and a sex toy for yourself. This way, he can control your toy and you can control his. If you get remote control  toys from Lovense, your toy and his can vibrate in sync, offering you a “virtual sex” experience. 
  • Don’t limit yourself to the bedroom. With wearable vibrators that are Internet-controlled, you can play anywhere: your office, your favorite mall, a family dinner. Don’t worry about noise because modern sex toys are extremely silent. 
  • Don’t forget sexy accessories to use when you’re together in-person. For people in long-distance relationships, visits are a very special time. Make sure to celebrate the next time you see your boo with a mini vibrator, intimacy bath salts, a soft bondage kit… Anything that helps you create more intimacy is a great choice!  

Kimberly Wade
Kimberly Wade

Hi, I'm Kimberly Wade, your go-to wellness advocate and professional sex toy tester. I work at Sexsi Toys, where I've had the opportunity to test hundreds of pleasure products. I'm a huge advocate for sexual well-being, and my job allows me to merge that passion with hands-on experience. I'm dedicated to ensuring that every product meets my high standards for functionality, safety, and sexual pleasure. So if you're looking for expert advice about sex toys, I'm your girl.

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